It’s the day of the big Sales Without Shame launch and I’m scared shiz-less. Like, literally, people, I can’t even poop right now.
I’m clenched from head to toe and worried and scared and telling you this because…?
Because pretending I’m not scared would be doing you a disservice.
You would then tell yourself that fear is abnormal or weird, that fear is something that has to disappear before you proceed with your business plans and aspirations.
You might wait for the fear to go away before you release your next product, promotion, or event into the world. And I’m telling you…
Fear is just par for the course.
In the past 18 months, I’ve been fired from a really great gig. That was scary.
I’ve closed my photography studio to pursue writing full time, ’cause writing is the love of my life. That was scarier.
I bought my first bikini this weekend. That was absolutely terrifying.
And yet, each of those scary feelings pale in comparison to what I’m feeling right now, as Sales Without Shame goes live.
The closer you get to expressing your heart in your business, the more fear you feel.
Fear that eclipses other fears you thought were bad, like not only buying a bikini but showing an unretouched picture of you in it to the internet. (Done. You’re welcome/I’m sorry.)
There’s no great effort or heart in that bikini, but there’s tremendous heart in your work. And it’s the putting your heart on the line that’s terrifying.
I get it. I’m right there, and I applaud you for being there as well.
The more terrified you are, the closer you are to expressing your heart’s true purpose in your business.
It’s absolutely terrifying to say, “I made this to serve you and I hope it does you some good.” I implore you to say it anyway, because…
Fear is just the douchebag who punches you in the stomach when you’re doing great work.
In my case, fear is bald, hails from Jersey, and hangs out in a boxing ring when he’s not pestering me. [Edited to add: Jersey people, for clarification's sake: I mean a terrible dude from Jersey -- like Teresa's husband from the Real Housewives -- who is stocky and drunk most of the time, and mean, and gets in fist fights at baby christenings because his peepee is tiny. THAT kind of Jersey guy.]
Fear says I’m not good enough, says no one wants to hear what I have to say, and says I’m not helping anyone, anywhere, ever.
Fear says I’m talking to myself here on the blog and that I’m just not being of service to the world.
Fear says Sales Without Shame sucks because it took me eight months to create, not nine. And clearly, NINE months is the bare minimum for creating something worthwhile in the world.
Fear is a real douchebag.
I don’t believe him, and neither should you.
Keep going. Keep creating. And keep putting yourself out there.
Fear will never go away, but I’ve found fear can be overcome by doing the work and putting it into the world no matter how much he protests.
If you’re interested in learning to sell your photography without shame, click here. Sales Without Shame is live today.
If this post has resonated with you, pretty please share it on the Facebooks and then tell me which part tripped your trigger.
(Still feeling afraid after reading this? Me too! Just wanted you to know you’re not alone.)
I love this post! I felt like you were speaking directly to me. Sales Without Shame would be a great hit. I know it because it helped me. I thought you did a FANTASTIC job with everything leading up to it. Now you just sit back and wait for your virtual hugs to roll in, because someone very wise told me that’s a measure of success =)
Indeed. ::hugs::
One, I’m wearing a blue and white polka dot with red trim bikini RIGHT NOW. So I feel like we’re Twinners. Go us.
Two, fiber bar. Just a thought.
Three, have no fear- Sales Without Shame is grrrrrrreat. Everyone should buy it- if your sales are $50 per session or $1000, get this thing. Seriously.
One, I love you.
Two, good call.
Three, THANK YOU.
Holy cow! Look at you in a bikini! Go Kristen!
I was bummed to miss.
Thinking warm fuzzy thoughts for you on your launch today. Sorry I didn’t get a chance to call and heckle you last night.
XO
I was looking forward to the heckling, lol!
I’m about to put a bikini on a third trimester pregnancy body because I’m too cheap to buy a maternity one. My husband suggested I wear a towel because “it’s so much skin, honey.” Noted. Still going to do it!
I’m cracking up at your picture because if that is the skirt you wore to the store, it’s totally hanging out on the floor like my clothes do. Very cute.
Sales without shame is pretty awesome guys, just saying. I appreciate quality ebooks and Kristin has delivered again. True fact.
Love it. Bikini + towel = PRACTICALLY a whole swimsuit, and that’s close enough, right?
And yes, that’s my dress. Apparently I am a clothes-shopping Neanderthal. lol…
Practically, yes. I totally do the same thing with my clothes too. I like knowing I’m not the only one!
Kristen is hot! And so is her writing!
LOVED this post – so true. Every. Single. Word.
::mwah::
Just So You Know, it took all of EIGHT MONTHS, not nine, for good ol’ Albert Einstein to develop and publish his Theory of Relativity (and fancy schmancy E=mc2) (while working full time at the patent office and providing for a family). THEREFORE, Sales without shame will CLEARLY revolutionize the world.
Just So You Know Pt 2, you look fab in that bikini. Super cute silhouette!
Amy…actually, strangely…that helps immensely. Thanks for kickin’ my fear in the throat.
Part 2…thanks.
And part 3…thanks for stopping by!
I’m curled up in a fetal position in a corner with my new Pentax K5 and terrified of the outside world. Well, not necessarily the outside world. The first major thing I photographed with my K5 was my relatives at a family dinner after my uncle’s funeral on Friday. Those photos turned out nice, and my cousin in Arizona was grateful I posted them on Facebook. I’ve had offers from people who want me to do family portraits and senior pictures, the latter of which I agreed to because there are no high expectations involved. I’ve never done family portraits, and I felt it wasn’t right to charge people a price for something I have not developed a skill for yet, so I baled out. But frankly, I’m really scared of business. It feels like my right brain creative skills will become lost if I learn left-brained, logical business skills. There’s a part of me that just wants to keep photography as a great hobby, but the other side of me says “Hell no! You’ll have student loan debt to pay for! Time to make some money from this!”
I need a mentor, not just a book, not just a PDF.
So that’s a choice, my dear — it’s perfectly okay to keep photography as a hobby, and you don’t HAVE to make money at something just because you’re good at it. I don’t make money doing mental math, even though I’m really good at it.
I’m originally from NJ and I wasn’t sure whether or not I should be bummed that you made Fear from Jersey…but I love your post so much that I decided to get over it.
No need for offense — this guy is like Teresa from the Real Housewives’ husband — large, mostly drunk, mean, and thoughtless. The Jersey just lets you know the accent in my head, lol…
Aw, I loved this post! Thank you so much for writing it, for being SO brave, and for giving me (and tons of other people) the courage to be just a little braver
You’ve already gotten a LOT braver.
I loved this and re-posted!
I respect and appreciate your honesty about fear. You can only be brave when you are afraid!
I don’t do photography, but support your venture! Best of luck!
Thanks!
I did my first ever family session yesterday, I thought i might have to pull over and be sick on the way. I was riddled with fear. But I pushed through and once we got rolling was so busy mr fear never got a moment to rear his ugly head. I love that you say fear is just par for the course. i’ll remember that.
I LOVE hearing this, Toni! Good for you!
Kudos to being brave and putting a picture of you in a bikini online, not that you had anything to fear. You look great!
I just wanted to say I’m a bald guy, from Jersey. Although I don’t hang out at boxing gyms in my spare time.
And I’m pretty sure I’m not fear, but I’m trying to being fear-less as I start my own production company.
Thanks for being open and honest. I look forward to more of your work!
Well thanks, John — and I amended the Jersey guy part to be less likely to fit your profile, lol…
Okay, I’ve read the SWS sampler again, but more thoroughly, and then listened to the “Call” recording in the packet, and still I’m confused. Do you have big pictures with arrows pointing to it, you know, like what you’d show a kindergartener to explain things? I’m having a tough time picturing in my head what you are explaining. I don’t have a photography business, I’m still at the “student” stage until I graduate from college next year. I may have to extend it another year by taking a few business classes so the business end of photography doesn’t overwhelm me.
Kay, you’ve just gotta decide you’re in business and REFUSE to be overwhelmed. There are no arrows, I literally make two piles and then start sorting. It’s like if you’re sorting laundry into whites and colors — no need for big signs above each one, you just do it, right? Same thing.
I don’t know how you do it, but your post totally matches what I’m feeling… Again! I am teaching a photography class for kids this summer – starting Friday. I’m so excited but I’m really scared too. Even though I taught for 8 years and i love working as a photographer, this is my first opportunity to combine my love of both. Thanks for sharing your feelings. I loved your sampler and can’t wait to get the whole sales without shame. Thanks for all that you do!
You’re welcome, and good luck with the class!
Hi Kirsten, you are looking fab in your first bikini and you are very brave to wear it for all to see! It has taken me 5 years to feel brave enough to face my fear of taking on a big project and risk failing at it with my photography. But your writing in Circus Circus and reading your blog and generally following your advice and musings gave me the courage to do it! I just completed the first ever Senior Year Graduation Year Book at my daughter’s High School in Manila and shot all 52 students pages with 7 casual photogarphs each ( a mini session I suppose) and all formal photos as well. I did all of it on my own and I can’t believe I’ve done it1 Iwas just terrified to start with but as I started to relax and just get on with it, I really enjoyed doing it. I had a great time with the kids. Did I make mistakes? Yes! Loads of them…did I learn? Yes I did1 But I have So much more confidence in myself now and I know that I CAN do this and think on my feet as well. I can’t wait to get stuck into SWS !I am just getting ready to move to France from Manila in the next couple of weeks as well, so it’s all life changing stuff for me Kirsten, and I can’t wait to get it all going! Thanks for helping me get going. You have been an inspiration and I’ll keep in touch with how it all goes. A bientot
I’m SO glad to hear this, Kate! Congrats!
What can I say you amaze me, inspire me, amuse
Me (do I amuuuze you??) you look mahvellous!
People run don’t walk to sign up for this course!
Thanks, Jill.
I just finished your mp3 teaser of Sales Without Shame. I was laughing out loud, by myself, in the car, like a fool. Shed a fear tears. Listening to you is like hangin out with my BFF. I LOVE it! Love you! Seriously so much good stuff coming outta my speakers.
I just finished up my first-ever Senior Portrait shoot and was like, what the heck do I do now? Thank God I found your site just in the nick of time. Now I feel armed and ready for that first sales meeting. I was stressin cause I don’t own a laptop or ipad (late bloomer, I guess) but now I can still do this! With confidence! Thank you so very much for helping us overcome the fear that could consume us. Education is power…thanks for that.
Thank YOU for stopping by to share your experience — I’m so glad to have helped, and I hope you sell roughly a bajillion Senior portraits.
Hi lovely lady! I can't find the Sales Without Shame page…it just links me to an "available domain" type page…Any help to find it would be amazing!