Your strip club (see this post, if you’re confused) is now flourishing! Those techniques you mastered after Marketing School have filled the club nightly, and Crystal’s g-string is stuffed full of singles at least four times a night. But…there’s a problem. You serve Chimay, your clients want Bud Light. The club offers lap dances starting at $95, and some clients want to pay $15.
You, my friend, need a bouncer.
In the online world, prices are often your bouncer.
Listing your session fee, base package price, and/or basic wedding collection price can be effective in wedding out your less-than-ideal clients. (Listing no price leaves too much room for assumptions about how ‘cheap’ or ‘expensive’ you are!)
Text can be your bouncer, too.
Using adjectives to describe your work as ‘classic’ will deter those who are looking for modern images. ‘Upscale’ or ‘elegant’ can trigger the dollar-signs that keep clients with a Craigslist budget from looking any further into your work. ‘Alternative,’ or ‘rock’n'roll’ text can attract the indy crowd, while clothing guidelines touting the wonders of smocking on children’s clothing will please the traditional consumer.
Let your images do some bouncing, too. Show only what you want to sell, one hundred percent of the time.
If you don’t want to sell a single image of a couple looking at the camera, don’t post one. If you’ll puke before shooting a couple on the beach at sunset, avoid showing those images to anyone. Ever. Teach your clients how to dress though the images you place in your portfolio, and help them choose locations and portrait scenarios the same way.
Oh, and take a tip from Crystal: call security when a client sets off alarm bells.
If an evil client happens to slip past the bouncers, deal with ‘em efficiently and break ties if at all possible. That pain-in-the-ass client only gets worse when you ignore him, give her bad customer service, or try to appease her with freebies. End the relationship as soon as humanly possible.
If you have any other tried-and-true bouncer methods, I’d love to hear ‘em!
i have an alarm bells client. how does one ‘call security’? i have no idea how to politely but firmly get rid of a high maintenance client. anyone have ideas to share?
Awesome article. Just brilliant.
Karen, in my opinion, it’s best just to be honest, and respectfully but firmly tell them that you have done all you can to serve them, or it seems like the two of you are not a good fit. Give them a suggestion for where they might go (no, not to hell!) for their photography needs, and make it genuine. And don’t post too much info here in public, you never know who is going to be reading
I think a back-hand to the face is quite effective
This is marvelous! Thank you so much for sharing!
oh, I’ve had an “alarm bells” client and NEVER want to go there again … for me it is working to get past my middle child syndrome of wanting to please everybody.
you are always so creative. i love it.
LMAO!! LOVE this! Brandcamp ROCKS!
Just had to come back and read again. Had to toss somebody out today. Not happy about it, but I’m glad to feel it was well worth it.
Ah, now this post (minus the immodest advertising) is much better than the original hapless analogy of the strip club.
And I totally agree with you — NEVER show a customer what you don’t want to sell to them. I learned this in the retail business 20 years ago. For some reason, the worst customers will end up being drawn to the thing you hate doing/photographing the most — and then, they’ll want it at a discount. Avoid such situations by NEVER “offering” them the lowest common denominator option.
Brilliant!
Totally in love – Kristen you are a creative genius. Bet you already knew that though, huh?
Hardly, but thank you for your kind words! I can make stripper metaphors like nobody’s business. lol.