You all know I’m a big fan of Naomi Dunford.  Marketing School and SEO School have been game changers for me, and they come at less than the cost of a pair of jeans at the Gap.  Naomi just released a series of new audio goodies, so I ponied up for How to Conquer Marketing and Make a Living With Your Art.  It’s $29 for a limited time, and then the price hits $49.

Get it while it’s $29 to enjoy Naomi’s sweet nothings whispered in your ear (or laptop) a little more.

(Photos above from the ‘images you can’t pay me to take’ collection: if you’re my college roomie and I adore you, I will shoot your sister’s wedding even though it makes me break out in hives.)

Naomi will help you find more eyeballs for viewing your art, help you find the marketing techniques that suit your personality, encourage you to move beyond apologizing for taking people’s money, introduce a revolutionary donation-based concept for the brave and entertaining among you, and tell you why most artists’ marketing sucks.  (And how to fix it, of course!)

If you listen to what Naomi has to say — and I mean listen-so-hard-you-take-notes listen, I bet you’ll have an a-ha moment.  Yup, I’m putting that Oprah cliche right out there and saying you’ll probably have one.  I did.  I paused the audio halfway through to rewrite some blog copy that’s been a pain to get just right.  Naomi made the lightbulb moment happen, and now it’s perfect.

How to Conquer Marketing and Make a Living With Your Art will give you a shot of confidence and marketing know-how.  (It costs as much as an entree in Vegas, so even if you’ve just gotten back from WPPI — the audio lasts longer than Wolfgang Puck’s gnocchi platter.)

Curious about my reviews of Naomi’s other products? Learn about Marketing School here.  Get the goods on SEO School here.

Want to read it on the blog? HOW TO CONQUER MARKETING – ITTYBIZ AUDIO REVIEW

If you provide hot girls and cold beer at reasonable prices, you’ve got a time-honored business model working in your favor.  Strip clubs should be profit MACHINES.  But  just because you have the prettiest, thinnest, hottest, _____est dancers doesn’t mean people will find you.

You’re nodding your head.  You’re like, ‘duh, Kristen, of COURSE people won’t find out about Crystal Delicious and her miraculous pole-dancing on their own!’

So why do you assume people will find out about your artwork on their own?

You’re talented, you have great photos, you have a website.  And no one cares.  You’re dancing for an empty auditorium.

How do we go about filling that auditorium?

Generate buzz.

If you owned a strip club, I would hope you would attempt to generate buzz locally.  Postcards, posters, and business cards shuffling from hand to hand help generate buzz.  That giant dude standing on the corner, passing out pink 4×6″ signs with Crystal Delicious on ‘em?  That dude is filling your auditorium.  As an artist, strive to have marketing materials circulating among customers, potential customers, and other businesses AT ALL TIMES.

Differentiate.

That giant dude also knows the power of differentiation.  You’re selling your club, yes, but you’re also pushing Crystal Delicious pretty hard.  No other club has Crystal!  Stand in awe of her upside-down-kerfuffle-lutz moves!  What would a giant dude wearing brass knuckles be pushing on the street corner if those postcards were about your business?  What will make you stand out like Crystal does?  (Need a dose of differentiation?  Try Marketing School.)

Reward your loyal fans.

George has sent twelve guys to your club in the past month.  Oh, and he’s urging his buddy to book his bachelor party with Crystal.  George needs to be rewarded for his loyalty!  The same goes for the bride who urges two other brides to book, or the Mom who hands out your business cards to her entire preschool!  Get those women some freebies, some special pricing, or a bottle of wine — never forget to reward the people who spread the word about your business to others.

Optimize your web assets. (Heh, I said assets.)

After hitting the local scene, I would hope you’d be a touch tech-savvy and optimize your strip club for search engine placement.  This is a slower build, and people might not find out about Crystal’s pole-dancing right away, but over time and with the right resources you’ll have clients making a trip to your joint as a destination!  SEO School has the tips you need to optimize your web assets for search engines.  Promise.

Outsource.

Finally, while you’re waiting for your strip club to hit it big, I would outsource wherever possible.  This doesn’t appear to make much sense, because your inclination is to do everything yourself.  But spending four hours cleaning the entire club means you wasted four hours that could have been spent on marketing.  Do you make more money by having clean toilets and no customers, or by having a small cleaning staff and a club packed with people?

Any other strip joint/photography buzz-generating tips for us?  Share ‘em!  And let me know what you think of today’s post, pretty please?

Want to read it on the blog? EVEN STRIP CLUBS GO OUT OF BUSINESS.

Of course, you can argue that Flash is still relevant, but HTML is simpler. I’m all about simpler.  So I set about creating a framework to display my images that could convey my brand without overwhelming the work.  The questions I asked myself, that I challenge you to ask about your website…

Is the website easy to navigate? Are all the buttons easily located?

The buttons on the new website are visible at all times, remain stationary through page changes, and have boring names.  Those boring button names like ‘FAQ’ and ‘Info’ and ‘Contact’ mean that website visitors will know what each one does.  ‘Blow it up!’ and ’411′ and ‘Buzz me!’ are cute, but not necessarily effective.

Does the website look the same on every computer?

The website will never look exactly the same for every viewer, but the elimination of image and website scaling (common in Flash templates) makes uniform user experience a distinct possibility.

Is all the website text relevant?

No fluff, just enough of your features and benefits being highlighted to distinguish your brand from others.  Potential clients know just enough to know if they want to know more.  (Need brushing up on features and benefits?  Marketing School is for you.)

Who needs a splash page?

I know the major industry web template providers have splash pages, but I don’t get the point.  Stuffing keywords on an HTML page because the rest of the Flash website is invisible to Google just isn’t a sound SEO strategy.

Have you hired a professional?

This is the most expensive website I’ve ever purchased, but it looks the least flashy.  Fabulous coding with search engine optimization hints provided by Naomi Dunford’s SEO School are hidden from view while my images take center stage.

Want your own HTML website?

Take a look at the super-sleep Kimtown HTML sites, or consider modifying your WordPress blog to be a blog-site using the Prophoto 3 theme. Save $10 with code BNDCMP717 — if it doesn’t work immediately, just email customer support at Prophoto.

What about the website?

Oh yah. View the new, super-simple site for Essential Imagery.

Want to read it on the blog? EFFECTIVE WEB DESIGN WITHOUT FLASH

(Oh, and if you’re crushing on SEO School author Naomi Dunford, Marketing School was just released.  It’s good.  SO good.  But I’ve been too busy to read the entire thing, so this isn’t the official word on the street.  Just the gossip.)

Want to read it on the blog? FOR YOUR SEO PLEASURE

After deciding to learn more about this decidedly left-brained activity, I picked up a copy of Search Engine Optimization for Dummies.  Because, well…I’m not a dummy, but it seemed like the simplest choice.  I read three whole chapters before falling asleep on the couch.  (If you’re looking for a sleep aid, I recommend it!)

I tried downloading free guides for photographers from various sources, but they taught me how to do basic things like create a Google Analytics account. And then how to access the reports.  (Click the ‘view reports’ button, in case you were wondering.)

Grumpy, frustrated, and having wasted dollars, I heard of an effective SEO workshop to attend.  Holy coconut milk, Batman!

And then I heard the pricetag.  Way, waaaaaaay less than great.

Finally…finally, finally, finally!!!  I found SEO School.  If you made me write a book about SEO, it would be like this. I would encourage you to read the book pants-less because hey, why be your own boss if you have to wear pants like a corporate cog?  I’d make time for you to grab a gin and tonic because hey, this is pretty boring stuff.  I would unleash just enough wordplay and creative cursing to trick you into reading an ENTIRE book about SEO.  Best of all, I WOULD MAKE SEO MAKE SENSE.  Naomi Dunford, master of the home business, already wrote the book I would have written if I knew anything about SEO.  Just buy hers.

Seriously.  Buy SEO School.

You will get SEO.  You will have a list of tasks to complete on the route to getting your website seen by all the right bots and trolls and Google monkeys.  You may even have dreams about search engine optimization, at which point I recommend taking a little break from all that Googling you’ve been doing. (Not that such a thing happened to me.  ::ahem::)

Want to read it on the blog? SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION FOR PEOPLE. NOT ROBOTS.