Those of you who watch me grow and change and evolve — who watch me step into my role as teacher, as well as writer — may assume that I’ve got it all together.

One of my best friends, only this weekend, told me she was jealous of all the stuff I do and the things I make happen.

Instead of trying to talk her out of her feelings, I just asked her bunches of questions. Our conversation makes for good eavesdropping, so I figured I’d share. You might find ‘em helpful if you’re battling your own ‘I don’t know what I want’ or ‘rampant jealousy of THAT life’ demons.

If you could be paid $500,000 for doing just one activity next year, what would it be?

This is a good place to start identifying the tasks you most love to do in the world. It can be cross stitching, knitting, sewing, cooking, gardening, or anything domestic. It can be putting out fires at a corporation, problem solving, implementing systems, or taking photographs of babies.

Love of Dungeons and Dragons? Can’t live without your coffee fix? ANYTHING can be part of the dream. The first step is making room in the dream for what you love without judging any part of it as silly or stupid or petty or inconsequential.

What would the first step toward implementing more of what you love into your life look like?

Maybe it’s buying a copy of the latest Dungeons and Dragons manual as research for when you’re a D&D writer. Maybe it’s buying a few cross-stitch kits so you can see how they’re made and what’s included as you attempt to launch your own brand of patterns.

What’s one simple way you could get paid for doing what you love?

Maybe it’s getting paid to cook for the first time — catering a friend of a friend’s luncheon. Maybe it’s writing a D&D script on fiverr.com. It doesn’t have to be sexy, this first cash. It just has to happen so you can see how it feels.

This is moving out of the ‘I think I love that and could do that forever!’ phase into the ‘It feels good to get paid for this’ phase.

If it doesn’t feel good, we need to figure that out right away. Doesn’t mean you give up on what you love, but it does mean it’s not meant to be your dream career. Since, you know, careers involve dollars.

What would your life look like in a few years if you incorporated more of your dream into your life?

Are you after looser hours, more money, more time at home, more time away? Do you want more flexibility, more rules, less rules, more structure, less structure?

Write your answers down.  (Yes, that’s important.)

Then, without judging ‘em, translate your answers into three clear steps you can take today toward living the dream in the coming months.

Your brain will probably kick back that this is “too simple” or “She just doesn’t understand” or “It’s easy for her to say,” but again — calmly and persistently, look for steps hat allow you to start building your dream life today.

Ignore the dogged voices that are always present, always looking to undermine your deepest dreams, and just write down three simple, achievable steps you can take.

For example, “work less” is not achievable, since it’s not clear.  “Work 2 hours less per week” is achievable because it’s measurable.

Same goes for “write more” — not helpful.  “Write 1,000 words per week” is clear and measurable.

“Blog once per week about _____” is measurable.   “Research ____ for 30 minutes,” “Outsource ____ to create 20 more minutes per day for family time,” “Hold two in-person portrait sales sessions” and “Share personal work in one blog post per month” — also measurable.

Clear and achievable mini-goals are the baby steps to your dream job. 

As always, if you dig this article, share it on the Facebooks!  And feel free to comment with any insights you’ve just had regarding your own dream job/career/business.